After such a long hiatus, i almost feel like shouting “Hello World” at the top of my voice (reminded of ur first java program, eh??? ;))… no, i still havent got back on my feet fully, but have somehow finally dragged myself to type out this post…… well well well, the topic is controversial, to say the least, and ppl in TN will immly realise why i’ve come up with this piece at this time of the year…… anyway, to assist the uninitiated, a veteran tamil actress (lets call her Ms.X, for ease of typing) recently found to her dismay that airing one’s opinions about sex, in India (TN, in particular) can lead to high levels of emotional and mental trauma…. Instead of receiving a pat on her back for being honest abt something sensitive, she now faces a defamation suit against her….. I’m not here to express my unstinting support to Ms.X or to curse the public who revolted against her….. I’m basically concerned abt a couple of things here – one is that everybody has their right to speech, and in this case, I felt that Ms.X was well within her boundaries when she responded to a question from a magazine conducting a survey…. but the uproar that resulted from her remarks only reflects the narrow-mindedness of our revered Indian public for whom, the subject of sex, let alone pre-marital, has always been taboo. It was a highly personalised opinion expressed by Ms.X and is nothing more or less than that. If u are not able to agree to her point of view, that’s ur problem, and u can air out ur contradictory statement as well, but alas, burning effigies of celebrities has become a fashion these days and starting from Sourav’s in Allahabad to Chappell’s in Kolkata, we Indians seem to relish showing off our dissent publicly to matters ranging from honest personal opinions to the duties of certain highly placed officials. Anyway, this blog is not abt the right to freedom of speech, so let’s move on to my second concern brought about by this celeb controversy – the qn. of pre-marital sex and virginity. As a guy, I would not attach too much importance to either of these, and I daresay that most guys wud agree…… it is when u r a girl (esp., an Indian girl) that these terms are of paramount importance and somehow, the term ‘purity’ and ‘liberty’ spring to the mind of any female who comes across this magic V-word. The qn. is, why? Why is it that virginity means so much for a girl and not so for a guy? Is it only because it’s not physically possible to determine if a guy’s a virgin, while that’s not the case with the fairer sex? Has nature herself conspired against our fellow inhabitants from Venus by depriving them the right to determine if their better half is as “pure” as they are(in most Indian cases, atleast)? As u can see, I’m not a male chauvinist but lemme add that I hate feminists. Then why has this topic struck a chord with me?? Basically because I think I believe in love, more than anything else, and if u r well and truly in love with ur partner (husband/wife, boy/girlfriend, whatever) u wud be least bothered abt his/her past and virginity will cease to mean no more than a simple anatomical fact.
But ppls’ reaction to Ms.X’s remarks disappointed me completely…. Somehow, Indian society’s double standards seem to be more than playing their part here…. Our society is currently in a transitional state, with the middle-class values conflicting with the more liberal western values esp., wrt the topic. This state is a very delicate one, and maybe the only fault with Ms.X was that she failed to realise the significance of a lighted cigar in a haystack godown and was stupid enuf to be brutally honest abt something which has always been considered taboo in our gr8 country.